Just Because

Sunday, February 28

'MERICA

Since America once again won the Olympics, i decided it would b a good time to propose my idea for the new national anthem, sung by our national heroes, Alvin and the Chipmunks

We recently asked you sick mother fuckers what your favorite band with a dirty name is.
We have the twisted results
1. Steeley Dan-Our fans love them some dildo
2. Limp Biscuit-Why? People actually like them?
Tie 3. AC/DC and Pearl Jam. Overall, no one could decide between bisexual and sperm. Understandable.
When we have an idea for another poll we will put it up. Until then, uhh...bye.

Let's switch gears for just a moment..

Stereotypical racism! Come on, kids!

Friday, February 26

Fuck 'Merica. Here's T. REX

Thursday, February 25

You Shall Build a Turtle Fence

Now guys, lets get serious, enough with this battle between the Russian and 70's music videos. It's time to talk about something serious, something that no Russian.. or crazy 70's singer, can stand up to. 'MERICA! Let the beats bump and grind you into the world of 'Merica's fascinating politics.

Admin Massage Day

I pulled up to Stephan's house, ready to have a great day. Coming to a stop,
I layed on the horn like i was pressing witches do death. A few minutes
later he appeared at the door.
"What the fuck are you doing!"
"Admin message day!"
"It's one fucking thirty in the morning man!"
"Fuck Yeah! Let's Go!"
He finally got in the truck, and I turned up the heaviest song I know and
began to head bang.
"Am I more than you bargained for yet..."
"Wow,and I thought you were straight man."
"Of course I have money, jeez. You hungry?"
"Sure."
"Hang on." I stopped the truck in the middle of the road and run into the
woods. I come back dragging a full grown deer.
"What the fu..."
"Deer?" I asked, throwing a bloody hunk of something.
"Is this the utereus?"
"My mom had a utereus. I lived in it."
"How about McDonald's."
"How about shut the fuck up and eat your deer."
I started the truck and drove down the road, Stephan crying in the passenger
seat as he forced down bites of deer uterus.
"You ready for your massage, Mr. Man.?"
"Yeah, i guess. I'm kinda ready to be home."
"Oh yeah, here we go."
Ten minutes later i realized we weren't going anywhere. Stephan knew, but i
was ignoring him so he would it.
"Why didn't you tell me we weren't going anywhere?"
"I tried t..."
"Shutup! Do you know how mad i am? I'll tell you. You ever been so mad you
wanted to swing a cactus? That's how mad I am"

"What?"
"Admin Massage day! Let's go!"
We arrived at the spa at three in the morning. Unfortunatly the spa didnt
open until 8, so we sat out front. We passed the time by listening to Bad
Romance and dancing. At least I did. Stephan slept, like a bitch.
Finally they opened up and we ventured inside.
"Welcome to Jenny's Day Spa gentlemen. How may we be of service?"
"What's your policy on happy endings?" I asked up front.
"We don't do that sir."
"I gotcha," I said, winking really hard.
"Are you okay sir?"
I wasn't sir who she was talking to. Probably me because I was winking like
I was haveing a stroke. But we've all been there.
We followed the girl back to the message tables. We got the bare minimum
because, let's face it, the internet gig doesn't pay, well, at all really.
It's a point of pride that i got us kicked out in 2 minutes 34 seconds that
day. Its real simple. Wait for the girl to walk in, turn over and scream
"HAPPY ENDING NOW!"
Needless to say, I whacked off that day.